The Blue Uninvited
by Mercury32
Summary: Sam hasn't seen John in over two years, but it figures he'd show up when least expected.


As soon as she stepped out of the car, Sam knew that John was close by. She wasn't surprised – she always got an odd feeling in her gut when he was nearby and over the last few weeks, it had become a constant companion. Right now, it was so strong she felt like she was going to throw up.

Swallowing nervously, she scanned the park and the small building in the middle of it, knowing even as she did that it was a pointless task. John wasn't going to appear until he was ready for Sam to see him. It didn't stop her from looking though or looking again, making note of everything, no matter how small it seemed, just the way John had taught her to do.

'Why today, of all days?' She asked herself, refusing to admit that she already knows the answer. There was enough on her plate as it was, without John making the day even more complicated.

"Looking for someone?" Sam started as Bianca touched her lightly on the elbow. For a few long seconds, Sam was disorientated, then as the words and their meaning registered, she shook her head. "No. No, anyone who'd be here for me is already inside."

Bianca said nothing more, but gave Sam a look that suggested she knew the truth and that Sam wasn't telling it and fussed around her, checking her hair and make up. "Are you sure you want to do this alone?"

"It's right that I do this alone." She answered quietly. It wasn't an answer to the question and Bianca was astute enough to notice the difference, but she said nothing.

"Thank you for everything. You've been fantastic through this." Sam squeezed her hand in appreciation and took a deep breath. "Now or never."

"If anyone present has any reason why this man and this woman should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

A slightly nervous ripple of laughter went through the room and that was when Sam saw him, leaning against the door frame with a sardonic smile on his face. Her stomach dropped, expecting him to say something, but the moment passed without incident and Sam wasn't as relieved as she should have been. Just in time, she pulled herself together and the rest of the ceremony – what little was left of it – went smoothly, even though she couldn't shake John's presence from her mind. By the time she'd finished kissing her new husband for the first time, he'd gone.

A couple of times while the photos were being taken, Sam thought she spotted him in the crowd that had gathered, but wasn't certain if it was him or not. She knew he was close by though and cursed him silently for not staying away and letting her enjoy her wedding day the way she should be able to.

Needing a moment to herself, Sam asked for a break, citing a headache as the cause. Wade assumed she was feeling overwhelmed and suggested she take a walk for half an hour and he'd hold everyone off. She was grateful that he wasn't offended– perhaps he really did understand her more than she gave him credit for. It wasn't like she'd given him a fake past after all, just a slightly edited one.

With a quick glance to make sure everyone's attention was on Wade and nobody saw where she was going, Sam moved quickly behind a hedge and out of view. The park was surprisingly empty, although the threat of a thunderstorm hung over the afternoon, which would have been enough to keep most people at home. She wandered further into the gardens, turning randomly along the dirt paths until she took a right turn into an area with a small fountain.

John didn't say a word, just stood in front of her and looked at her with something akin to amusement. Sam broke the silence. "Hello John." "Hello Samantha." The exchange was cold and it brought back unpleasant memories of the last time they'd reunited. The tension between them now was as strong as it had been then. "What are you doing here?" Sam was surprised that she didn't sound as annoyed as she felt, just resigned. He shrugged one shoulder. "You didn't think I'd miss your wedding day did you?" "I didn't invite you for a reason." She hissed at him, shooting an anxious glance in the general direction of where she thought Wade and his family were. Her family now. The only one she was meant to have. John muffled a laugh. "I could have walked you down the aisle." Sam wanted to shove her bouquet down his throat. "How the hell did you even find out about today? I woke up in an empty flat, I haven't seen or heard from you in over two years and now you show up at my wedding?"

"I have my ways." He grinned in response to her annoyed look. "Jesus Sam, did you think that was it? That I'd leave to protect you and just let you swing in the breeze? Didn't it ever occur to you that I'd be keeping an eye on you?"

It took a minute for John's words to fully sink in and when they did, Sam felt a cold chill settle over her. "What the hell have you done? Keeping an eye on me? What the fuck does that mean exactly?"

"Sam, calm down. I just meant -"

"I will not calm down!" She shoved at him, heedless of her bouquet. "What was it huh? Phone taps? Tails? Hacking into webcams and security cameras? Tracking action on credit cards? You were the one who said the more distance between us the better."

"Calm down." He grabbed her wrists before she could hit him again. "I meant what I said. You're not safe with me. I'm a dead man walking Sam, why can't you understand that? They will hunt me from one end of the universe to another and they will not rest until I am under their control."

"Listen to me, and listen hard. Because for such a smart person, you seem to be having trouble grasping it. With me, you're in danger. They will do whatever they can and if that means using you as a hostage, as leverage, they will do it. I won't take that risk. I can't risk you Sam."

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment. "Shouldn't I be able to make that choice for myself John? It's not your job to protect me any more."

"No, you're not a kid. But I need to protect you from this. Yes, I told you to leave. Yes, I was the one who walked out when it became obvious that you wouldn't. You were never planning on leaving, no matter what you promised me, were you?"

Sam shook her head, headless of the fact that her hair, which had so carefully been pinned in place that morning was threatening to come loose. "I wasn't going to leave. We'd made a pact remember? That we'd never go through that kind of hell again. We'd face whatever came, but we'd face it together? It doesn't end well when we're apart and you fucking know that better than anyone."

"Do you really think that staying on the run with me would have been better than what your husband can offer you? Sneaking away from shitty hotel rooms at midnight? Switching identities so often that you can't remember which name you ordered the pizza under? Lonely as hell, but too scared to get close to anyone in case they turn out to be undercover?" John's voice had taken on a carefully measured tone. Sam knew that he was as close to cracking as she was. "That's all life with me would've given you. Being with him, you'll get what you should have. A home. A career. Stability. Kids."

He looked away for a moment, but not before Sam caught a flash of pain on his face. She would've given anything to see his face in that moment, to know if he was just scanning the park for suspicious figures or if he was trying to hide his emotions from her. When he faced her again, his expression was calm, giving nothing away. It was no surprise that they'd managed to survive on poker winnings he'd brought in, Sam thought. She knew him better than anyone and she still had no idea what he was thinking. She also knew that no matter well she was trying to hide her feelings, John could read her like a large print book.

"You made a good choice Sam." He said sincerely. The mask was firmly back on place. "Wade's a good guy. He'll look after you. You'll have a good life with him, the kind of life you deserve."

Sam started to relax. She _knew_ she didn't need John's approval or blessing and it was a little late for it anyway, since she was already married, but it was nice to have it anyway. She understood now that if John hadn't approved or if his background checks had turned up something worrying, he would never have let the wedding go ahead through some means or another. Now that the tension between them had eased some, Sam appreciated that he was still looking out for her.

"Do you love him?"

"You have no right to ask me that." She was proud of herself for managing to keep her voice calm. Why she bothered, she'd never know since with his superhuman abilities he could probably pick up a change in her blood pressure. The carefully calm expression on his face didn't change. "I have every right to ask that. "

Sam wanted to stare him down, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. For a moment she considered lying to him, but knew that John wouldn't back down until she gave him the truth. She sighed deeply. "As much as I can. I don't pretend to feel more for him than I do."

Sam hoped that was the end of it. Being around John was both wonderful and terrible. As cliché and pathetic as it sounded, Sam had a vague sense of being complete when they were together. It wasn't like she pined for him, or cried herself to sleep – although she'd done plenty of that in the first miserable weeks of their estrangement – but there was a feeling that everything was right with the Universe. And god, it was good to see him again

On the other hand though, having him here was yanking on her nerves. God, what if someone recognised him? UAC weren't being reserved in their pursuit of him. If they got hold of John... her blood ran cold at the thought. It was such a risk for him to be there. Besides that, Sam had no idea what to expect from him. Why had he shown up? There had to be a reason that was more than just wanting to witness her big day.

"What does he know?" It was question with many layers. For the sake of her nerves, Sam chose not to delve too deeply. "Next to nothing. I don't volunteer much information, he doesn't ask. He knows you exist and that we're estranged." She finally looked up at him, meeting his eyes. The unease she saw there wasn't what she'd been expecting. "If he learns anything more, it won't be from me. I swear to you, I won't give you up."

"You can't tell what you don't know." His voice was hard, but his face gentle, almost sympathetic. To Sam's surprise John took her free hand between both of his. "We should have had this conversation a long time ago. Don't look for me Sam. Don't try to find me. If anyone – anyone at all, even if it's someone I've told you we can trust – tells you that they know where I am or that I want you to met me somewhere, it's a lie. I meant what I said before, they will use you to get to me. You have a damn good shot at a decent life. Don't throw it away, not even for me."

"Not even -"

"Not even." He didn't give her a chance to speak any names out loud. Trust no one indeed. "I'm doing all I can to keep you as safe as I can. We've got people keeping an eye on you and they'll be able to act quickly in an emergency."

"What, like people watching me?" Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was the threat really that serious? She just went about her life normally, without even thinking that she could possibly be in danger. It was like something out of a movie. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter. I mean it Sam, this isn't a fucking game. Don't try and figure out who they are or you could put all of us in danger, do you understand me?" He studied her closely for a moment. "There's a safety deposit box in your name at the bank. It explains a few more things and has instructions on if you need to reach out for help. When you're certain that you've got it memorised, destroy it."

"Are you serious?" She demanded, already knowing the answer. John knew what he was doing and there was an incredible team of people who lived to bring UAC down helping his every step. He nodded. "This isn't a game Sam."

"I know."

He smiled at her sadly and straightened one of the ornaments in her hair. "You look amazing. Wade loves you, don't take him for granted. This is your life now so make it a good one okay?"

"You're leaving?" Sam was suddenly panicked at thought and grabbed hold of his wrist, as though she'd be able to keep him with her. "Will I see you again?"

He turned his hand and slid his fingers through hers, squeezing tightly. "I don't know. Too many variables. It would be a lot safer for you if I could say no, but you know how hard it is to be apart. And I always was a selfish bastard."

"You never were." Her voice was a pained whisper. "You always looked out for me, no matter what." Impulsively she hugged him tightly. "I miss you."

He held her close for a minute in a bone crushing embrace, then pushed her away from him, gripping her by the upper arms. "Be smart. Be safe. And know that no matter what, I love you and I'm looking out for you."

"Don't leave me." It slipped out before she stop it and she looked away embarrassed. She hated letting John know just how much she needed him. He gently placed his hands along her jawline, taking care not to smudge her make up and tilted her head up till her eyes met his. "Look at me. Don't think that walking away isn't one of hardest things I've had to do in my life."

He bent and kissed her on the cheek. "Someone's coming. I have to go."

"Already?" Even as she said it, Sam realised that she had to have been gone from the rest of the wedding party for at least half an hour. Of course they would be looking for her by now. She didn't bother asking how John knew, he'd probably been able to hear her telling Wade she had a headache. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply and counting to ten in an effort to summon up whatever she needed to get her through this potentially final farewell.

When Sam opened her eyes, John was nowhere to be seen.

She barely had time to register that he'd left without saying goodbye, before Bianca hurried into the clearing. "Sam, you've been gone for ages! Wade was starting to wonder if you'd run off."

"No, never." Sam kept looking around the clearing. Maybe it was for the best, they'd said goodbye far too many times and it just got harder and harder. Still, it would've been nice if she'd been able to tell him how much she missed him and that she loved him. Forcing a smile, she linked her arms through Bianca's. "Better get to it I guess."

"Try not to look like the world's about to end." Her friend suggested gently. "It is your wedding day after all."

"I know." For a moment, Sam struggled with an urge to cry, then pulled herself together. She really needed to get better control over her emotions. Arm in arm, they walked back to where the rest of the wedding party were grouped. Wade slid his arm around her waist and kissed her ear murmuring "Feeling better?"

"A little." She smiled at him, hoping he didn't notice how fake it was. If he did, he didn't give her any sign. Wade glanced at the sky and sighed. "Looks like that storm has arrived. Not exactly suitable weather for a wedding."

She'd never admit it to another living soul, but Sam couldn't think of anything more appropriate.


End file.
